Light in Darkness
God amazes me. I know that's a really worn out line, and everyone feels that way about God, but truly, He amazes me.
My mother and father are in crisis right now. It looks like their marriage is about to end, and with that knowledge pounding in my brain, darkness has settled into every nook and cranny of my life. The wheres and the whycomes are not necessary. It's exhausting enough just to ponder the fact that 36 years of work and love and tears and devotion are over.
Death in any form is painful, but watching the death of a marriage is particularly excruciating. Smiles should not weigh a thousand pounds. The pain of having to see the fear that lurks in the back of your children's eyes as they wonder if the cancer of Divorce could spread to Mommy and Daddy should be reserved only for perpetrators of the most heinous acts of human depravity. Yet, even here in this evil place, God is making His presence known. He reminded me the other night that He is still here and that He will always be here.
I was out at the end of my driveway. It was around 10 pm, and I was praying and crying out to God. There was no one to answer (so I thought) except the crickets and ever vocal tree frogs. (For those of you who don't know...I live in paradise.)
As I stood there I looked at the pasture across the road and saw thousands of fireflies lighting up the trees. They were going crazy flashing their little buggy behinds off. Even the stars in the sky were luminous and bright. I think some were winking at me!
Everywhere around me light was piercing darkness.
It wasn't much...but it was more than enough.
My mother and father are in crisis right now. It looks like their marriage is about to end, and with that knowledge pounding in my brain, darkness has settled into every nook and cranny of my life. The wheres and the whycomes are not necessary. It's exhausting enough just to ponder the fact that 36 years of work and love and tears and devotion are over.
Death in any form is painful, but watching the death of a marriage is particularly excruciating. Smiles should not weigh a thousand pounds. The pain of having to see the fear that lurks in the back of your children's eyes as they wonder if the cancer of Divorce could spread to Mommy and Daddy should be reserved only for perpetrators of the most heinous acts of human depravity. Yet, even here in this evil place, God is making His presence known. He reminded me the other night that He is still here and that He will always be here.
I was out at the end of my driveway. It was around 10 pm, and I was praying and crying out to God. There was no one to answer (so I thought) except the crickets and ever vocal tree frogs. (For those of you who don't know...I live in paradise.)
As I stood there I looked at the pasture across the road and saw thousands of fireflies lighting up the trees. They were going crazy flashing their little buggy behinds off. Even the stars in the sky were luminous and bright. I think some were winking at me!
Everywhere around me light was piercing darkness.
It wasn't much...but it was more than enough.
But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. Romans 1:20 (MSG)
Comments
Thank you all for your heartfelt comments and prayers for my family. They are appreciated. I know that everything is eventually going to be just fine. The awesome thing about this is that I thought an event like this would kill me. I was wrong. God, as usual has been faithful and I have felt the "peace that passeth all understanding". Thank You, Father for that.
Looking back at my post I see how many times I used the word "I." I don't mean to make this all about me, because it isn't, but all I can do is talk about what I'm feeling. I can only speculate about what my mom and dad are going through. Thanks for your understanding.
Be Blessed
I happened upon your blog (because of it's title--what a great verse and song!) and I just wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you and your family during this time. I'm so sorry that things aren't going well.
John 14:27 is a great reminder from the Lord about His peace. I hope that He will continue to comfort you.
Blessings,
Erin