Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I Thought This Was A Christian Blog...

Yesterday, I decided to put a video on my blog. For those of you who don't know...the song is called "Broken" and it's sung by Seether and Amy Lee from Evanescence. (I hope I spelled the band names right.)

No, they are not Christian artists, and the song isn't intended to be about the relationship between a man and God. But, I was introduced to this song by the bassist in our worship band. He asked me if I would be willing to sing the song with him in church one Sunday. When I heard the song I fell in love with it. I love the power of it and the aching lonesomeness of the lyrics. And yes, I think it is very applicable to my relationship (as well as other people's if they were truthful) with Jesus.

I am broken when I'm not with Him. When I'm out on my own...doing my own thing, the pressures of the world inevitably break me. Always, I run back to Him, and again I am broken. Broken by the foolishness of my pride and my arrogance against Him. Which is, basically where I'm at today. Raging against my stupidity. Trying to find that place of repentance. It's not coming very easily...for some reason that I can't fathom, I don't really want to let go of my life.

The silly thing is...this is America. I mean, c''s not like I'm gonna get thrown into jail if I suddenly change my ways are start telling everyone I know about what Jesus has done for me. At least, not yet anyway.

I've read Jesus Freaks. And I was freaked out! Some of those martyrs were as young as 8 years old! And here I can't seem to find enough gumption to get rid of some of the weights and sins that so easily entangle me. Laziness that's what it is...just pure old laziness. And pride. Lots and lots of pride.

So...if anyone out there is by some miracle still reading this (since I haven't blogged in a month)...if you have ANY suggestions that might be help me find my way, I'm all ears.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I Just Thought I'd Try This Video Thingy

I thought it looked neat, so I thought I'd try it. I hope I did it right. I love this song and I love whoever thought up the LOTR concept.

Hope you enjoy it.

Monday, July 03, 2006


Hello friends. I've been out of commission for the past week or so due to the fact that I was on vacation. The last week has been, you know I hate to use cliches but what the heck, the worst of times and the best of times. Maybe someday I'll blog about it but not today.

Today is about trust. Trust in God to be more specific. I've been sort of chatting back and forth with my pal at Into The Depths about it, and I must say, it's been a difficult thing to think about. How do you begin to fathom trusting in an unseen God, the invisible Ruler of the Universe, when you've been betrayed by almost every authority figure in your life? All of them visible, by the way.

It's a touchy subject, if you haven't been able to guess that already.

In thinking it over, I began to almost despair of finding a true reason to trust God. I mean, as a child, my grandparents took me to church as often as they could. What the preacher talked about planted a seed in my heart and I have always just taken it for granted that there is a God. Of that I have no doubt. But why trust Him? Most of the experiences in my childhood clearly spoke to the contrary. To trust someone meant getting hurt, and I learned early on that survival meant trusting in myself alone.

But after a while, surviving on my own became overwhelming. The pain of some of my experiences was too great to bear and it almost killed me. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I had to either trust someone, or rather SomeOne, and risk being destroyed, or keep all to myself and let it destroy me anyway. Fortunately, I chose God.

Still, that's just one way of looking at it. It's kind of a skewed way of looking at it if I do say so myself. My reason for trusting God in the beginning shouldn't have come because I felt I had no other choice. I should have made a more informed decision. I could have tried reading my Bible and then making up my mind, but I just decided to go for it based on other people's testimony. Not that I'm complaining, but I could have saved myself years of torment if I had taken the time to study God by His description of Himself, rather than other people's. But I digress.

So, other than the "Do Or Die" method, why should I trust God? What evidence is there of His trustworthiness? Maybe the question should be, why shouldn't I trust God?

What I'm saying is, all my reasons for distrusting God have been based on the actions of some depraved human beings. But is that fair to God? I mean, isn't it sort of laughable to try to compare God to humans? Or vice versa? We know better than to compare the power of a flashlight to the power of the sun don't we? Isn't that sort of the same thing?

In other words, if God isn't human, then why do we judge Him according to human standards? Human beings are weak and can't be trusted. History has shown us that much over and over again. So, if we can't judge God according to human standards (and really we shouldn't be judging Him at all, but that's what we do) then how do we know He is trustworthy? How do we know He is good?

By looking at what God has done, not what humans have done. God created the earth and all the fascinating creatures that dwell in it. He created the heavens and the stars, the sun and moon. Have you ever watched the Discovery channel? Have you seen just how marvelously made our bodies are??? Have you seen the news story of the man who has been in a coma for 20 years and while he was out, his brain re-wired itself? Now he's waking up and talking!!! After 20 years! What a masterpiece of creation! What a work of genius! Our bodies are amazing.

Someone somewhere once said that no mean woman could ever be a good cook, because it takes a generous heart to prepare a good meal for a family. If that's true, if creating a good meal for your family is a work of love, then how much more is it to create a something as wonderful as a man or woman? God is not sadistic, He's not mean, He's not hateful. If He was, it would be impossible for Him to create the beauty that we take for granted every day.

God does not need me to defend Him, and that's not what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to challenge anyone who reads this to look at God from a different perspective. Jesus told the Pharisees (and I'm paraphrasing here), "Hey look, if you can't believe me based on what I'm telling you, at least look at what I've done...look at the miracles I've done, and believe Me based on that."

Take a look around you...look at what God has done...and believe.