Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Frustration

Well among a myriad of other things, I'm having technical difficulties. This is why I haven't posted in a while. As I said, just one frustration among many.

I'm also going through this major self pity party. Wanna join me? Misery does love company. C'mon...join in, look, we can do it together. Ready? 1...2...3...Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!

Ok, enough whining.

Here's my trouble. I want to be close to God. Close as in, face to face. I can feel His spirit drawing me, calling me closer, but I'm not impressed. I've lost my passion. I want to get closer, but I don't want to move and I'm frustrated by that. Ever been in this postition? Nobody can help you when it's like this, because what it really comes down to is a decision. A decision to follow God no matter what. Unfortunately, I'm the only one who can make the decision.

Why are we like this? (I am assuming I'm not the only one hence the term "we") How do we get to be this way? I can see the table set before me....it's filled with good things to eat...I'm hungry...so, why aren't I picking up the spoon and digging in?

I had a really great friend once. One of those rare individuals who was excited and joyous about following God. She made the most of every opportunity to seek after Him and the passion that she had was infectious. It infected me. Now she's gone and I haven't been the same since. Perhaps I lived my relationship with God too much through her. Not a good thing. We can't worship vicariously. A pastor I once knew said that worship is not a spectator sport. Ain't it the truth.

God, renew my passion and joy in You.

" Be rainfall on cut grass,
earth-refreshing rain showers.
Let righteousness burst into blossom
and peace abound until the moon fades to nothing.
Rule from sea to sea,
from the River to the Rim." From Psalm 72 the Message version.

Friday, September 08, 2006

5 Weird Things About Me

I'm a horrible blogger. I have probably already lost my adorable rodent status on TTLB, but I can't bear to look at my sidebar to see. I am so ashamed. Especially after all those nice things that Keri said about me. *sigh*

I'm so bad that I hadn't noticed until today that I had been tagged for a meme. Last month.

Shalee from Shalee's Diner tagged me and is asking me to list 5 weird things about myself or my pet. Since I don't have a pet, I guess it has to be about me. If I haven't already lost all 3 of my readers, this ought to do the trick.

1. I hate long fingernails. Not on other people, just me. I am constantly trimming my fingernails. I suppose it has to do with the fact I type a lot. Yeah, that sounds good...I'll blame it on my job.

2. I love peanut butter and cheese. Together. Talk about heart attack city baby. I don't eat them often, but sometimes a craving for a peanut butter and cheese sandwich just overtakes me. I have to make them when my husband isn't around because it grosses him out.

3. In keeping with a fine southern tradition (and because I love food) I eat ketchup on just about everything. Except cereal. I draw the line there. You gotta have standards, know what I mean???

4. I have two names. At work, people call me by my first name. Family, friends, and church family call me by my middle name. Sometimes it's a struggle to remember who I am.

5. When I was a teenager I was convinced that Boy George was straight. I'm not quite sure if that can be chalked up to weirdness or just total stupidity mixed with a heavy dose of denial. I'll tumble 4 ya, I'll tumble 4 ya, I'll tumble 4 yoooouuuuu...c'mon, you know you wanna sing along.

Well, that's my top 5. At least, of the ones I'm willing to admit to. Now I have to tag 5 people. Do I know 5 other bloggers??? Let's see, I tag Stephanie at Into The Depths, Paulette, Literature Lover, YewNork Babe, and Truevyne. That is, if they are still checking in with me.