Wanted: Desperation

Desperate:

1 a : having lost hope, a desperate spirit crying for relief : giving no ground for hope the outlook was desperate
2 a : moved by despair victims made desperate by abuse b : involving or employing extreme measures in an attempt to escape defeat or frustration made a desperate leap for the rope3 : suffering extreme need or anxiety desperate for money4 : involving extreme danger or possible disaster a desperate situation
5 : of extreme intensity
6 : SHOCKING, OUTRAGEOUS

This is Webster's definition of the word. Still, I find myself asking...what does it mean to be desperate?

Yesterday morning during worship my congregation sang Breathe. If you've never heard it before, it's on Vineyard's Hungry CD. I think Kathryn Scott is the vocalist. Anyway, the song is hauntingly beautiful, and whenever we sing it I just get lost in the Presence of God.

Yesterday was different.

I found myself wondering if I am truly desperate for God. There is an old joke that says christians don't tell lies they sing them. I'm inclined to believe that.

I love God, truly I do, but am I desperate for Him? Would I go to any lengths to please Him? Would I, like the woman with the issue of blood, be willing to get down on my knees and crawl through the crowd just to touch the hem of His garment? Would I be able to throw all of my dignity out the window and scream out His name at the top of my lungs like blind Bartimaeus to get His attention? Would I be willing to endure insults like the Syrophoenician woman? Would I be willing to push past every hypocritical, religious, member of the church just to kneel at his feet and anoint them with my tears? Would you?

I don't want to be a nut or a fruit loop. I don't think that's the kind of devotion that God is looking for. But to be so in love with Him that I can't get enough of Him...that would be great.

God, make me desperate for You.