An A-Ha Moment
It's kind of funny how you can be driving along, minding your own business, and then POW!!! God enters the scene. That's sort of what happened to me today, but in order for you, the reader, to understand what I'm about to say I have to give you some background info. That way you'll chuckle at the appropriate places.
First, I'm a mom. Two kids and a husband. I'm mid thirties (where does the time go?), and I've just entered the teen-age years with my daughter. I know, I know, I need prayer and a couple of boxes of Miss Clairol. Second, and maybe I should have listed this one first, I'm totally into Jesus. You've maybe heard of a book by Rick Warren called The Purpose Driven Life? Well, I have, or am attempting to have, a relational driven life. In attempting to pursue this kind of lifestyle, I have learned two things: 1. God loves me more than I can ever think or imagine.
2. It's not about me. At all. It's all about Jesus.
Now, when I say that I have learned those two things, perhaps I should clarify and say that although I have learned those precepts, I also tend to forget them quite often and need to be reminded. Especially the second one. Which sort of brings me to my topic in a weird and roundabout way.
See, in addition to the titles listed above (refresher: Mom, Jesusfreak) I'm also a singer. I used to believe that my talent was all I needed and that Jesus should just love my singing and overlook my sin. Well, for those of you who don't already know Jesus, lemme just tell ya...it don't work that way. (Pardon my butchering of the english language)
Recently, I began to understand that my pride about my singing was way too big and my attitude was way off. (You know how it is...diva-ism just isn't a good thing to have in church) So, I sat myself down from the church praise team. As soon as I did that, all kinds of doubts began going through my mind...like this one..."Hey, you know you aren't as young as you used to be...are you sure that sitting yourself down is the right thing to do at this juncture?" Or, how about, "Hey, you shouldn't just sit yourself down like that, you should just slug it out and keep on keepin' on for the Lord." Yeah...mmhmmm....whatever.
Well, today, I was kind of thinking about all that when I had what might be described as an "A-Ha Moment." I was reminded once again that God is sovereign. He can do with me and my talent as He likes, and if that means I sing in the congregation, then I sing in the congregation. It's all up to Him which totally takes the pressure of trying to "make things happen" off of me. Whew...what a relief. Now I don't have to kill my worship pastor for not recognizing me as the musical genius that I am. (V, if you're reading this I would never actually kill you...)
So, are you struggling to get ahead? Worrying that your boss, or your pastor, or whoever is just taking you for granted and that you're not getting the recognition that you deserve? Relax, take a breath for crying out loud. Check your motives...why is the need to be in control or be in leadership so powerful? Remember...it's not about YOU!
First, I'm a mom. Two kids and a husband. I'm mid thirties (where does the time go?), and I've just entered the teen-age years with my daughter. I know, I know, I need prayer and a couple of boxes of Miss Clairol. Second, and maybe I should have listed this one first, I'm totally into Jesus. You've maybe heard of a book by Rick Warren called The Purpose Driven Life? Well, I have, or am attempting to have, a relational driven life. In attempting to pursue this kind of lifestyle, I have learned two things: 1. God loves me more than I can ever think or imagine.
2. It's not about me. At all. It's all about Jesus.
Now, when I say that I have learned those two things, perhaps I should clarify and say that although I have learned those precepts, I also tend to forget them quite often and need to be reminded. Especially the second one. Which sort of brings me to my topic in a weird and roundabout way.
See, in addition to the titles listed above (refresher: Mom, Jesusfreak) I'm also a singer. I used to believe that my talent was all I needed and that Jesus should just love my singing and overlook my sin. Well, for those of you who don't already know Jesus, lemme just tell ya...it don't work that way. (Pardon my butchering of the english language)
Recently, I began to understand that my pride about my singing was way too big and my attitude was way off. (You know how it is...diva-ism just isn't a good thing to have in church) So, I sat myself down from the church praise team. As soon as I did that, all kinds of doubts began going through my mind...like this one..."Hey, you know you aren't as young as you used to be...are you sure that sitting yourself down is the right thing to do at this juncture?" Or, how about, "Hey, you shouldn't just sit yourself down like that, you should just slug it out and keep on keepin' on for the Lord." Yeah...mmhmmm....whatever.
Well, today, I was kind of thinking about all that when I had what might be described as an "A-Ha Moment." I was reminded once again that God is sovereign. He can do with me and my talent as He likes, and if that means I sing in the congregation, then I sing in the congregation. It's all up to Him which totally takes the pressure of trying to "make things happen" off of me. Whew...what a relief. Now I don't have to kill my worship pastor for not recognizing me as the musical genius that I am. (V, if you're reading this I would never actually kill you...)
So, are you struggling to get ahead? Worrying that your boss, or your pastor, or whoever is just taking you for granted and that you're not getting the recognition that you deserve? Relax, take a breath for crying out loud. Check your motives...why is the need to be in control or be in leadership so powerful? Remember...it's not about YOU!
Comments
I know exactly where you are coming from. I also sat myself down from the worship team. I don't think anyone else understood, but I know it was the right choice for me. Lately I have been going through a struggle with a judgmental attitude, which is strange, because most of my life I have been able to love unconditionally. But God is taking me deeper into a cleansing phase, and I tell you, it ain't no picnic. Thank you for your honesty and openness. You are a great blessing to me, as well as others.
Barbara Stephens
Thank you so much for the kind comments. I totally understand the "cleansing phase" and you are correct, it's painful. But one thing I'm grateful for is that it's only for a season...and then, a new place of glory, new understanding and knowledge of Him, you know...the good stuff.:)